


The Awkward Truth

by Whisper132



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-20 06:57:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10657299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whisper132/pseuds/Whisper132
Summary: "Are we dating or something?""Do you want to?""Maybe.""Then maybe we are and maybe we aren't.  Let me know when you decide."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after being a complete waste of human skin, trolling around looking at OtaYuri art on Tumblr for an hour instead of doing productive things. May continue it a bit later, depending on if the mood strikes, though it can probably just stay as-is and be fine.

Yuri has no idea what he's doing when it comes to Otabek. The man's emotions seem to be on some kind of fucked up switch that turns on for a maximum of ten minutes a day, just long enough to fire Yuri up, but extinguishes just when Yuri thinks he's getting a handle on what this thing is between them.

"You're thinking about it too much," Mila says when Yuri drops his pride and asks for help. "Just let it evolve."

She's clearly read that in some stupid magazine. Nobody in their right mind would just "let things evolve" when they're clutching onto Otabek's sides and racing on the back of a motorcycle with no real destination in mind. There is no "let things evolve" when you can't sleep because your brain keeps replaying phone conversations and wondering if, when Otabek says, "Too bad you can't be here to see it," he's making polite conversation or actually means, "Get your ass out to Almaty so I can ravish you, Plisetsky."

"I'm going to Almaty," Yuri decides.

"Get your ass on the ice and finish practice!" Yakov yells. "If you leave this country before nationals, I'm dropping you."

Yakov probably doesn't mean it – you don't just drop a Grand Prix gold medalist – but it's enough of a threat to deflate Yuri's bravado and get him back out on the ice to practice his quad loop. When Yuri gets to his phone during a break, there's a message from Otabek.

"Hey, I've got a sponsor shoot in St. Petersburg in two days. Meet up after?"

Yuri types "Yes!" then changes it to "Sure." before revising it to "What time?" and then finally settling on just a thumbs up emoji. 

"What is taking you so long?" Georgi grumbles. "Yakov's going crazy out there." He looks at the phone in Yuri's hand. "Oh, texting the boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Yuri screams. "We're just...whatever." For all his decisiveness, Otabek is a vague bastard and Yuri kind of hates him...only extremely the opposite and with no actual hate at all.

"So the whole tight pants flirting thing you did on the ice at your exhibition skate wasn't you guys announcing your love to the world?" 

Nothing Yuri says will convince Georgi that the exhibition skate was just Yuri feeling upset and Otabek helping out a friend, so he doesn't try explaining. Some day, if Yuri's dreams come true and Otabek stops being an evasive asshole, they'll make a kickass exhibition pair skate with a ninja theme where Yuri rescues Otabek and then they make out on the ice and traumatize the world. It will be awesome.

"Look," Yuri says to Georgi, "tell Yakov I'll be out in a couple minutes." 

As Georgi leaves, Yuri's phone buzzes. It's a text from Otabek. "I'll come meet you at the rink when I'm done. Looking forward to it."

Yuri hates the stupid smile on his face but is powerless to stop it.

*****

"Looks like your man's here," Mila whispers as she skates by Yuri. 

Yuri turns to see Otabek standing at the side of the rink, staring at him with his usual calm expression. Rather than skate over there and start fumbling with his words like an idiot, Yuri waves and then returns to his practice. Half an hour later, Yakov gives his permission for Yuri to duck out a little early (only fifteen minutes) to spend time with his friend...or whatever Otabek is.

"Your landings are improving on the quad flip," Otabek says, his back turned while Yuri changes. 

"I'm working my ass off. I can't let that old pervert take nationals after he's taken so much time off. It'd be embarassing." Yuri dresses in a hurry, throwing on clothes he took an hour to pick out last night. Every item of clothing is something Otabek has complimented at one point or another, either via personal conversation or comments on Instagram.

Otabek turns around and smiles. "You'll definitely win," he says, and Yuri's legs wobble a bit.

"Let's get going." Yuri grabs Otabek's hand and drags him out of the rink. "There's a good place I want to take you. It's not that far."

Otabek jostles his hand until their fingers are laced together. "Hurts my wrist less this way," he says when Yuri looks back at him.

"Oh. Okay." Yuri knows he's blushing, but there's nothing he can do about it. He keeps up his pace so it doesn't look like they're holding hands on a quiet afternoon stroll. If it looks too intimate, Otabek might freak out and let go.

"I had to do an underwear ad today. I didn't know they made so many different kinds."

Yuri trips over his own feet, and the cement starts to approach quickly before Otabek yanks Yuri up. So that's what a death spiral feels like. "Sorry," Yuri says. "Tripped on a rock."

Otabek nods. "If you'd stop rushing, you wouldn't trip."

Yuri sighs, releases Otabek's hand, and trudges on. "It's just a little bit further," Yuri says. His hand already feels cold.

"Good. I'm starving." Otabek grabs Yuri's hand and laces their fingers again. "So I don't get lost," he says, holding up their joined hands and smiling just a bit on the left side.

Yuri steps a little bit closer to Otabek. "So you basically let a bunch of people take pictures of you naked so you could make some money?" 

Otabek chuckles, a deep, sharp sound that lights up Yuri's belly. "Pretty much. If I want to compete, I need to pay for it somehow. Sitting around in underwear in freezing cold studios means I can afford the entry fees for Worlds this year." He squeezes Yuri's hand. "Does it bother you?"

The only way to not sound like an asshole is to lie. "Nah. I just think it's weird. You don't seem like the kind of guy who's into that kind of thing." 

Otabek shrugs. "That's probably why they ask me to do it. The unexpected sells."

Yuri thinks they ask Otabek to do it because he's gorgeous and there are a lot of people in the world who will happily hoard every print copy of Otabek unclothed that they can. "Probably."

They walk into the cafe and find a seat in a corner, well hidden from any spying Angels. "Just order what you think I'll like," Otabek says. "I trust you."

"I...I...shit." Yuri buries his face in his hands because it's tingling with embarrassment and a stupid kind of joy. "That is such a line."

Otabek laughs. "But it worked."

Yes, Yuri has to admit, it did work.

*****

"This is the room I'm staying in right now." Yuri gestures around the room, which has clothes strewn all over it from his game of What to Wear for Otabek last night.

"It's a mess," Otabek says. "Are you always this disorganized?" He clears himself a spot and sits on the corner of Yuri's bed. He scrunches his nose. "These look like they're clean."

Yuri has no idea why he brought Otabek to his room. Otabek has a nice hotel they could've hung out in, but Yuri's place let them walk together longer, holding hands and chatting about how much Viktor and JJ suck. Otabek's face when he's bitching about JJ is adorable, a full grimace with the occasional eyebrow tick; it's one of Yuri's favorite Otabek expressions.

"I couldn't find something this morning, so I tore the place up a bit." Yuri shrugs. "I would've put it away if I'd known you were coming over."

"Is that a picture of me?"

Fuck! "I would've taken that down, too," Yuri grumbles. There's no point in trying to talk around the fact that he's got a poster of Otabek on his wall. "Phichit sent it to me after the Grand Prix. I thought it looked cool." Otabek in leather pants and no shirt drinking down a blue sports drink is the sexiest thing Yuri has ever seen next to Otabek sitting on a motorcycle. Some day, Yuri will get Otabek to sit on a motorcycle in leather pants and no shirt. He will take a picture of it, post it, and destroy the internet.

Otabek smiles and grabs onto Yuri's arm, tugging him down to sit on the bed. "Thanks. It's good to know the result is well received, even if I feel like an idiot when I'm doing it." 

Yuri is sitting with Otabek on his bed. How many of his stupid late night fantasies start this way? Well, not with laundry everywhere and Otabek feeling self conscious about seeing himself on Yuri's wall, but sitting together, arms brushing against each other and sparking warmth between them.

"I don't get what's going on here," Yuri says after a small silence has passed, both of them looking around the room and basking in the warmth of casual human touch. "Are we dating or something?"

Otabek turns, his eyes focused in on Yuri's. "Do you want to?"

Yuri shrugs. "Maybe."

Otabek shrugs. "Then maybe we are and maybe we aren't. Let me know when you decide." He places his hand on Yuri's leg, gives a squeeze, then stands. "I should get back to my hotel. My flight leaves early. Work hard."

*****

"You just let him leave!? Are you an idiot!?" Mila shakes her head. "Maybe you should just give up and let someone less stupid have him."

He should've known Mila wouldn't be any help. What does she know about relationships anyway? She dated that hockey loser for so long that she probably can't even remember what it feels like when you're trying to figure out if the guy you like likes you back.

"What's wrong?"

No. Anyone but Katsudon. Yuri can handle talking to anyone about this but the Lovey Dovey Prince of Feelings. "Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine."

"Yuri blew off Otabek and now he's freaking out," Mila says. 

"I did not blow him off! I asked if we were dating and then he used some stupid psychology bullshit to turn it around on me and I fucked it up and you're all being assholes about it instead of helping me!" Yuri knows his eyes are wild, and he feels on the edge of simultaneously crying, screaming, and punching something.

"I'll help you," Katsudon says. "Mila, go tell Viktor and Yakov that we're taking a break."

Mila obeys and Yuri waits for whatever inane pearls of wisdom Katsudon has to offer him. When Katsudon sits on a bench and pats the space next to him, Yuri sits down, his body dropping like a leaden weight. For a long stretch, they just sit there, breathing and saying nothing. Nobody bothers them, and Katsudon doesn't drill Yuri for any details.

"I screwed up," Yuri sighs, eyes cast to the ceiling so he doesn't cry. If he starts crying, Katsudon will start crying, then Viktor will come running and ask why they're crying.

"Probably," Katsudon says, face serious, "but I doubt it's the worst you'll ever screw up. You'll get better at screwing up as you go along." He elbows Yuri in the side. "You'll also get better at fixing your screw ups. I'm still learning, and I still freak out, too." Katsudon grabs Yuri's hand. "Viktor taught me to just say what's on my mind, even if I think it's stupid or doesn't matter. When I'm not honest with my feelings is when I screw up the most."

"What if I don't know what I'm feeling?" Yuri asks. "I have no idea what's going on."

"Then just say that. Who knows, maybe Otabek feels the same way." Katsudon ruffles his hair and stands up. "I'll tell them you're feeling sick. Go home and call Otabek. You need to get some better sleep to get rid of those bags under your eyes."

Yuri tries to say thank you, but he can't quite bring himself to get the words out, not yet. Instead, he stands and gives a light punch to Katsudon's shoulder.

"You're welcome," the other man says before heading back out to the rink.

*****

"Hey," Yuri says when Otabek connects through on Skype. It's late because Otabek was out doing a guest DJ gig at a local club as a favor to the owner.

"Hey." Otabek looks and sounds tired, and Yuri feels a little guilty, but he can't go through another day wondering if he's screwed everything up for good.

"Look," Yuri says, "I think I want us to be dating, but I'm not really sure what that means to you." He takes a breath and tries to remember what he said to himself the four times he practiced this in the bathroom mirror. "I've never really thought about this kind of stuff before, so I'm probably going to do something that pisses you off, and I'd appreciate it if we could just talk about it instead of things getting all weird."

"Okay," Otabek says. 

"Okay we'll talk about stuff, or okay we're dating?" Yuri wants everything to be very clear before he starts muffling his giggles in a cat plushie.

"Both," Otabek says. "And…" He pauses for a few breaths, and Yuri lets him collect his thoughts. "I'm not very experienced either, so let me know if I do something wrong or make you uncomfortable."

Yuri is about to say they can learn together, but instead says, "Not very experienced means you have some experience. Who the hell was it?"

"A couple people. They don't matter." Otabek is blushing and looking at the ceiling.

"Just fucking tell me who it is or I'll start looking at everyone like they've gone out with you, and then I'll be a nutjob like Viktor." Yuri shudders because he knows what he's saying is true. If he doesn't know, he'll start looking at everyone on the circuit like they're competition, like Otabek is quietly comparing everything Yuri does to…

"A girl in middle school, a guy at one of the clubs back home, and then, when I was in Canada, IwentoutwithJJforacouplemonths," Otabek mumbles.

"WHAT!?"

Otabek hides his face in his hands. "Please don't make me repeat that."

Yuri doesn't make him repeat it, but he does add it onto his list of reasons why he must destroy JJ Leroy. "We're going to talk about this later," he tells Otabek. 

Otabek groans. "No, let's talk now. I missed home and he didn't seem like too much of an asshole at the time. I was wrong. We broke up." Yuri is too much of a chicken to ask what he wants to ask, but Otabek must see it on his face. "We didn't sleep together."

Yuri lets out a sigh. "Thank fuck, I don't have to kill him." And then, "So, have you…"

"Yeah."

"Oh." Well, shit. "The girl or the dude?"

"Both." Otabek refuses to look at the camera, and his face is pale. "Does that matter to you?"

Does it? Honestly, Yuri hates the idea of anyone having touched Otabek before him, but the three years between them are, Yuri knows, important years for development and blah blah blah. At least he didn't fuck JJ. "It pisses me off a little, but I'll get over it," Yuri says and is surprised to find that the sting of the idea is gone. "You're not all chummy with them, are you?"

"Haven't talked to them in a long time. I don't even know where they are now, and I don't care." Otabek looks at Yuri through the phone, and Yuri can feel the weight of Otabek's words settle into his chest. "I only think about you now."

"That is such a stupid line," Yuri mumbles. He's clutching at one of his cat plushies to keep himself from laughing for joy like a lovesick idiot.

Otabek smiles, wider and more open than Yuri has ever seen before. "But it worked."

Yeah, it did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was unable to control the urge to add a bit more to this. So...yeah. Here's a little bit more of this.

Yuri isn't pleased that the entire world knows what his boyfriend looks like in just underwear. The stupid ad campaign is extensive, the brand marketing its staple line internationally. Otabek's crotch is on double buses and subways around the world, and disgusting people are posing with their hands all over Otabek's junk and posting it to Instagram. It feels like each and every one of those stupid photos finds its way onto Yuri's feed, and every time he sees one, he gets just a bit more pissed off at the world.

"I guess stuff is really selling well," Otabek says the next time they talk after the campaign's launch. "They want to sign on for sponsorship next season, too."

Otabek looks so thrilled to be getting the sponsorship that Yuri can't bring himself to voice what a shit idea he thinks it is. "I hope they're giving you more cash. They're getting top model quality, and they can afford to pay for it."

Otabek nods. "They're putting up double what they did this year. I'll be able to afford some nice costumes for next season because of it." Otabek pauses, his eyes focusing in. "You're upset."

"Yeah, well, I've seen ten strangers and then Giacometti nuzzle your junk in the last 48 hours, so forgive me if the idea of a repeat doesn't thrill the shit out of me." Yuri needs to call Viktor and have him tell Giacometti to stop his "Otabek Love" photo series. The bitch is finding every damn Otabek ad and taking semi-lewd pictures with them.

Otabek frowns. "I can't afford to turn them down."

"I know that." Yuri grabs a stuffed cat that Otabek sent him last week and squeezes it. Truthfully, dating Otabek is almost identical to not dating Otabek, and that's even more fucked up than watching Giacometti rub his ass all over Otabek's paper crotch at the Geneva Airport. Maybe if those stupid photos hadn't been the first time Yuri'd seen Otabek in his underwear, Yuri wouldn't be feeling like everyone in the damn world knows more about his boyfriend than he does. 

"You're quiet. What's wrong?"

Right, there's an easy way to fix this. "Take off your clothes." All Yuri needs is to get ahead of the rest of the world and everything will be fine.

Otabek blinks a few times then smiles slightly. "No." His eyes are gentle as he says, "I'm not saying no because I don't like you; I'm just not comfortable with that kind of thing."

"But it's okay if it's in front of strangers for sponsorship?" 

"That's in a professional setting with my agent there to make sure nothing gets weird. This is a cell phone camera in front of someone I care about, and I don't want the first time I'm naked in front of you to be because you're pissed off about some photos on the internet." 

When Otabek puts it that way, Yuri feels like an ass. "Sorry, Beka," he mumbles into the stuffed cat. "I just…"

"I know." Otabek has no business looking that handsome at nearly 1 in the morning after a full day of practice. The idiot's hair is sticking up everywhere, and his t-shirt is covered in sweat stains. Still, he looks better like this than he'll ever look in studio lighting with his tattoo photoshopped out. The tattoo is a teddy bear on his right hip that he got because some friends dared him. Otabek hates losing even more than Yuri does.

Yuri hasn't even been in physical contact with Otabek since they decided to start the relationship two months ago, and they probably won't see each other until Worlds next month. Yuri wants to do all the stupid sentimental shit he sees Viktor and Katsudon doing, only he and Otabek will do it in a much more dignified way because Otabek is a gentleman and not a pervert like Viktor. None of that can happen, though, because Otabek is far away and spends all his money on skating, and Yuri is still using all his money to make sure his family can live comfortably...and buying a few fashion items that he needs or he'll shrivel up and die.

"I need to get to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?" Otabek's voice is gentle and a little slurred as his words morph into a yawn.

"Night, Beka. Sorry I went crazy on you."

There are some smiles Otabek gives that Yuri knows nobody has seen but him. Otabek says, "I like your crazy," before disconnecting.

Yuri falls back on his bed, blushing, and reaches up to pull his cat from her resting place on his pillows. "He's the best," he tells her while she paws at his face. "He's going to kick ass at Four Continents next week, and then I'll get a Euro gold, and then we'll sweep at Worlds, and then I'll kiss him on the podium and everybody will know that I'll kick their ass if they touch him." With the future properly planned, Yuri slips into a peaceful sleep.

*****

Unable to wait until Worlds, Yuri tags along with Team Katsudon to Four Continents but doesn't tell Otabek because he doesn't want Otabek to bitch at him about not resting before major competitions and the dangers of jet lag. Otabek can be such a nagging granny sometimes, but Yuri likes talking to the elderly, so it's fine.

"Do I need to give you a speech about appropriate behavior?" Viktor asks, his eyes sparkling wide, clearly hoping Yuri will say yes.

"Anything you have to say to me would be nothing but hypocritical bullshit, you fossil." Yuri turns to Katsudon. "Don't let this idiot distract you. I expect to see silver around your neck when this is over."

"Not gold?" Katsudon asks.

Yuri snorts. "Don't be stupid. Otabek's getting gold." Before Viktor can whine about Yuri disrespecting his fiance, Yuri disappears into the milling group of press and event staff. The competition doesn't actually start until tomorrow, so Yuri will find Otabek, ogle him for a bit, then jump on him to both show his love and give the press something to talk about other than how nice Otabek's ass looks in those stupid ads.

"Plisetsky! Good of you to show up and witness as JJ breaks your short record!" JJ Leroy follows up with his signature pose.

"JJ," Yuri hisses. No part of this trip was influenced by paranoia that JJ will suddenly realize his feelings for the amazing man he let slip through his fingers. JJ has a fiance, and the two of them are just as stupid as Viktor and Katsudon. Everything is fine.

"Yuri?"

Just the sound of Otabek's voice soothes the torturous brain acid rushing through Yuri's senses. "I came to watch you crush this asshole." Yuri hooks a thumb back to indicate JJ.

Otabek nods. "I'm glad you're here." Yuri freezes as Otabek moves forward and envelopes him in a quick but firm hug before kissing him lightly on the cheek. "I won't disappoint you." He claps Yuri on the shoulder then moves onto the ice for practice. Yuri just stares after him, too stunned from the electricity raging through his body, lighting up ever nerve.

"I'm glad he finally found someone," JJ says quietly. "He's a good guy."

"Better than you deserve," Yuri says, glaring at JJ and daring him to say otherwise.

Yuri doesn't expect a serious expression to take over JJ's arrogant features. "That was a rough time," JJ says. "We were both a little lost and trying to figure things out." JJ casts his eyes to the ice and then down to the ring on his finger. "I found what I want, and I think he has, too." JJ shakes his head and turns his once more arrogant smirk to Yuri. "He'll have to settle for silver today, though." He winks at Yuri and hustles out onto the ice.

"He's gonna kick your ass, Leroy!" Yuri yells loud enough that it echoes above the announcements telling skaters how much longer they have for afternoon practice rounds. Everyone on the rink assumes Yuri means Katsudon, which is fine. Otabek hates unnecessary attention when he's trying to practice.

****

"Do you feel better now?" Otabek asks. They're seated by themselves in a restaurant for dinner and, while Viktor and Katsudon are also there, they're on the other side, well out of earshot.

"Don't know what you mean." Yuri glances over the menu so he doesn't have to look Otabek in the face.

"Phichit got your conversation on video. He sent it to me and promised he wouldn't post it." Otabek raises his phone with the video playing on mute. He fiddles with his phone again and turns it to Yuri. "I told him he could post this one, though."

Yuri watches himself blush when Otabek hugs him. "My face looks so stupid," he groans. 

"I like your face," Otabek says. He puts the phone away and looks over the menu. "Order whatever you want. My treat."

Yuri's stomach swirls. "Thanks." He licks his lips before asking, "Is this a date?"

"Do you want it to be?"

Oh no, Yuri's not falling for that shit again. "Answer the question, Beka."

The laugh Otabek gives is deep and throaty. The sound of it burns from Yuri's ears to his stomach in a sizzling rush, and he has to hold back a moan as the sensation sweeps through him.

"Sure," Otabek says. "We can walk around the city when we're done. I didn't get to see much of Gangneung before practices started up." He leans across the table and holds Yuri's hand. "If you're here for a while, maybe we can watch the sunrise on Jeongdongjin after the last skate."

"I'll be here," Yuri says, squeezing Otabek's hand and refusing to let it go until the waiter comes to take their orders. There is nothing in the world that will keep him from enjoying a sunrise stroll on a beach with the most amazing man in the world...even if that man is currently wearing the ugliest, dorkiest cable knit sweater ever created. Yuri will just hide the sweater while Otabek is in morning practice tomorrow and buy him something better before their next date.


End file.
